Forever loved!

I walk with a heavy heart this week. If the only thing I can do in the wake of tragedy is carry a burden then so be it. A friend lost her husband Monday afternoon. Although I didn't know him as well as I was hoping I'd be able to now that we were back in Meridian, I hurt. Married under a year with a newborn baby at home. I hurt for her more than I've hurt in a long time. I had the honor of being a member of their wedding and watching these two be united as one by and under God.

As I know she was, I asked God many questions. "Why?" being the main one. The first thing I did was walk straight to Caleb, who was seeking God on the very question I was about to ask, and I asked him, "Do we raise him up?" I know God is more than capable of even the biggest thing my human mind could fathom. Raising someone from the dead is not even close to the top of the biggest thing I know God to be capable of. Although it didn't happen, I know that He would have. In these moments it's the last thing anyone wants to hear, but God's plan is so much bigger than we know.

Not only did I question God but I questioned thin air. It's so hard to understand why such a thing would or even could happen to someone so young. God knows he just had a new baby and he knows they didn't even get to spend their first anniversary together. But what I don't know is whose heart was forever changed by this event. What I don't know is what the road would have looked like 5 years from now.

I love this verse: Isaiah 57:1, "Good people pass away; the godly often die before their time. But no one seems to care or wonder why. No one seems to understand that God is protecting them from the evil to come."

That is hope for me...for her. Knowing that God protected Zac from something we could not see. Trusting in his word. Learning to accept His comfort but knowing that He is willing to allow us to greive someone loved. Being thankful for the time he was allowed on earth and thankful for the time God gave us to know him. What good will come from this? Plenty. Not that I can see it yet, but I believe in His word. He has a plan and it is to prosper!

I thank you Jesus for allowing us the time we had to know Zac. For me it was little, but I thank you. I thank you that your plan is bigger! I thank you for the love he was allowed to give to his new family and I thank you for holding them close in this time. I ask for peace that passes all understanding!

I send my love to Hannah and sweet baby Jax.

Transition, Contractions and Birthdays!

Hello all. Time to update, I guess. Did you know that the number 11 means transition? At least that's what I have been told. As most of you know we have been and still are in transition. Transition=Change. I'm not a big fan of change; I like things the way they are and when I'm ready for them to change...well, I'll change them.

BUT, when you ask God to guide you in the right direction, you don't have much control over change. I guess that means I also have a control issue. I never would have considered myself a "control-freak" but I'm beginning to realize that I very much am. I like things a certain way. I enjoy them a certain way. And I want to be the one making them how I want them. Transition is bringing humility to my heart. Transition is allowing me to let go of the reigns for once and to really let God take over and be the controller of every situation.

That doesn't mean it's been easy. Oh, no. Not at all. It's frustrating, complicated and sometimes beyond stressful. The more so it has been, the more I realize the issues God is working out of my heart and life. He is not the reason it is difficult. I am. It wouldn't be so frustrating, complicated and stressful if I would just relax and quit trying to make things happen. It's not about me trying to make things happen, it is about God allowing the perfect will for my family to happen. If I did it "my way", no tellin' where we'd be right now. Oh, how I love how he loves me!

Now, update on Miss Harleigh Grace: She is doing great! My body has been contracting "under stress" and thankfully God has kept the dilation under wraps. No dilating! The Dr's are now not quite sure how many weeks I am?! I'm somewhere between 25-28 weeks..we will be finding out for sure March 31st. Either way, everything is going good and I am just thankful for a healthy baby.

Eden's 2nd birthday is in a week! Can't believe it. Who knew time could fly so fast? So I'll be spending the next few days OFF of my feet (for Harleigh's sake) and attempting to put a birthday together(: I can do this. He gives me strength.

Until next time....

My Vegas Experience

Our vacation is finally over. It's day 1 from being home and I'm thankful for so much! Caleb and I both had an amazing time while in literally another world...but I found myself being thankful for so much more than I thought possible.



The day we flew out I was beyond anxious. You hear so much about Vegas and it's surroundings, I honestly didn't know what to expect. Caleb, being there before, fore-warned me of the sin but also the beauty. We made our arrival at 4 that afternoon and literally 4 hours later...we were in bed, asleep! We attempted to walk down the strip but time, pregnancy, and disgusting pictures forced us to turn back. It was too early in the week for that.



The next morning, being Valentines, we had made reservations for The Top of the World restaurant. We dressed all fancy (they had a dress code & Caleb looked mighty fine in his suit and tie) and were seated next to the window over-looking the entire city. This place did a 180 degree turn around so we were able to see everything from our seat. Food was nice. Waiters were great. Valentines Day = successful. Post-lunch, we took another stroll down the strip, this time keeping our gazes ahead, not down. I've never seen a street so littered with naked girls. My heart ached for every single girl who felt she had to expose herself in that way. So, I said a small prayer. The closer we got to the middle of the strip the better it got. There was less trash and more super nice hotels. We went in EVERY single one. They were absolutely beautiful and had great stores! After about 2 hours of serious walking...we caught at taxi back to our hotel.

We went to the Cirque du Solei 'Mystere'. A-MAZING! Completely worth the money! I swear, I almost threw up like 10 times because I honestly felt I was going to witness someone die. No joke. They do so many crazy things!! One guy held himself up with one hand 100ft above the ground while holding a huge cube-thingy! It was awesome. Caleb loved it, I loved it. I can't wait to see another!!


There was this awesome 50's diner in our hotel called Roxy's. This was one of the highlights of our trip! They served, probably some of the best food ever while singing old songs! Everytime, I ordered a turkey blt wrap...without the wrap. I wanted, well baby wanted, toasted bread(: ABSOLUTELY amazing. It was well worth 10.99! Not to mention, Roxy's workers were by far the most polite people in the entire city. Also, the sweet monorail information lady who rode with us to MGM one day. I wore my chosen "God" t-shirt one day....she must have been curious(: I also said a prayer for her. I felt more confident in that one!

Hoover Dam and Grand Canyon: Absolutely beautiful. If that had been the only thing we did the whole time, it would have been beyond worth it! God was so magnified that day. He is a beautiful creator and artist. It felt so surreal to actually be in these two places. I never would have thought that I would get to have that experience, and I suggest that everyone make it possible!!

On every street corner there were men (and sometimes women) constantly pushing baseball sized cards into your face. You could clearly tell that these were the only jobs available but it was by far the most annoying experience the whole trip. Each one wore a shirt that said 'Hot Hot Girls Direct to your Room. Call: xxx-xxx-xxxx!!' The baseball sized card was a picture of a nude girl. I was extremely suprised to see that most people were passing them up, telling them no, or taking the card and dropping it back to the ground. There is hope for this city!

The annoying shirt-wearers were the only down-fall of our entire vacation. And even in that down-fall, we were able to see the hope that was still there. This made my heart glad. I have to be honest, it took me a couple of days to quit saying, "EWWWW". After having the epiphany that people are actually refusing the offers I decided "Eww" was not the appropriate word anymore. Another astonishing discovery was that there weren't many people gambling in the casinos! You would think, it being Vegas, that every casino would be full. Nope. Trust me, you have to walk through the casinos to get to ANYTHING in EVERY hotel. Gosh, but the cigarette smoke was ridiculous. Blech!

Alcohol. It was also few and far between. Living in a 'dry' town, even seeing the word beer shocked me! It had been so long since I had seen a place offering any type of alcohol and it took me a day or two to realize I wasn't in Kansas anymore. During the day, I witnessed more people drinking their water, cokes and other odds than a alcoholic beverage. At night the bats came out though...What do you expect in Vegas, huh? With all honesty the only time I actually saw someone in a stupor was at 3:30am on our way to the airport. As soon as the elevator doors opened, BOOM, there they were. I'm pretty sure this girl had no idea where she was, what she was doing...or possibly who she was.

My conclusion of 'Sin City' is this: The name 'Sin City' actually comes from the thought that the mafia used to run Las Vegas. With that, they had their so-called prostitutes. Many people seem to think that anything goes, when in all actuality that is not the truth. Some in the city pride themselves on others coming and 'letting their hair down' so to speak. Some, I said! Most of the locals actually look down on this thought and intend for it to be a family vacation spot and push every other amenity other than gambling and partying. Now, think about this...how many cities have bars? clubs? and 30 minutes from my own hometown are two casinos. Living in my 'dry' city here, I tend to forget that myself. It's nice to remember that my bubble doesn't exist everywhere I go and there are real needs and prayer to be lifted! It is a true eye-opener to remove myself from comfortable and place myself into unfamiliar. I believe that is when you truly find who you are in God. In the places of unfamiliar. When no other believers are close by, what will I do? Will I try and blend in or continue to strive for holiness and stand apart?

At the end of the day, I am glad that we had our "Vegas" experience...maybe not the one most people would be thinking of when they hear of this city, but it was indeed a wonderful experience. My heart was glad to be home where there is grass and sweet tea though(: Grass...another beauty the Lord made! I never thought I loved grass as much as I did. I received a new measure of thankfulness. I'm thankful for grass, sweet tea, my family and my God! I am thankful to know that there is more hope than I had imagined for a town so looked down upon. He is bigger!

-A new believer in greater things!

Remember me...

On the way home today, I drove over my favorite bridge. It is on one of these Alabama backroads that I love so much, shaded by the biggest oak trees. Under it runs from the foothills the most beautiful emerald green water. Being a creek it isn't quite see-through, although I wish it was. Sometimes I wish I had 5 more seconds to stop and take in everything I see.

When I was 8 years old, I had this little brown wallet (a mans wallet, because what girl doesn't want to be just like her dad at 8?) that I was given to me by my dad. At this age I still had a huge toybox that fit perfectly at the end of my bed. It was so huge, it came up almost to my chest! One particular day, I was searching and searching for my wallet because I had a dollar to contribute to it's mouth. My man wallet was no where to be found. I sat there in my huge toybox after throwing things over and around it, and for probably the first time I asked God, "God, where is my wallet?". Immediately, I heard the Holy Spirit breathe it into my ear. Guess what? Holy Spirit was right. That was my first true encounter with God that I can recall. The first time I actually heard the voice of God. My faith was made known that day in something, someone who loved me. Yes, I went to church with my parents and I did the Sunday school thing, but never had I been introduced to God in such a way. The God that we talk about...talks back? I stepped out on some faith and curiosity that day and He met me.

Years later in a hurt kind-of rebellion, I told that voice 'no more'. I couldn't listen or talk because He hadn't listened to me. My prayers for a family made whole weren't answered and I wanted to try it my way for a while. Oh, but He still didn't listen...he kept talking!

Sitting with my feet hanging off the end of a pier, in a drunken stupor, I remember shaking my head at God and cursing His name. My faith had been chipped at and it had been too long since I had heard His voice..He left me long ago, at least that is what I told myself. Then He spoke. That sweet voice I had longed for came back to me bringing me to sobriety and awareness. "Remember me..." Those were the words I had heard that night. Tears warmed in my eyes and so did my heart in my chest. I remembered.

I remembered the day that my faith had been made known. The first day I truly heard the voice of God. Moments after finding that little brown wallet, I took off running off our back porch down into our woods. I ran and ran until I reached the small creek that lined our property. I climbed down the 5 foot steep bank and stuck my bare feet into the beautiful emerald green water. From there I ran as fast as you can through water until I couldn't breathe anymore. When I close my eyes, I see that 8 year old girl with her blue jean over-all shorts and tangled brown hair with her hands lifted to the Heavens, running. Just running. Full of faith.

That is why I love my favorite bridge. Not because of anything but my memory of the day I found faith in the One I love. I still remember....

Learning Patience+Pregnancy=Oh, Lord.

Life has been like one of those free falls that catch you and bring you back up at the end. I contribute a lot of the frustration to pregnancy. Things are so magnified/intensified when you are pregnant. I've asked God to teach me how to deal with hormones. We're still working on it.

Man, pregnancy! God has taken this time to do some serious purging in my heart. Starting with patience. I have never been the most patient person in the world. Oh, he's cracking the egg pretty good.

"We prove ourselves by our purity, our understanding, our patience, our kindness, by the holy spirit within us, and by our sincere love." 2 Corinthians 6:6 NLT

I am just waiting on purity, understanding, kindness...etc. Not saying I don't already possess the ability, but surely as I say I have mastered those he'll hit me with another test. Not that I don't want that either...I'm just sayin'!

I have always been told, "Don't ask for patience." Which I find somewhat ridiculous. We want to hold the light of patience. Ahem, we prove ourselves by...patience. Although it can be very annoying and frustrating at times I know that once I finally pass the test of patience, I've conquered a treasure. I want to produce good fruit. I don't want to be cut from the tree!

Patience is also necessary to endure the road of discipleship...I have found this one to be true from experience. Who better to learn how to be patient than from the one who's displayed it so beautifully for all of time?!

Lately, more than ever, I have REALLY been learning that I cannot look to man but to God for all I need. One day when the scars have turned white I hope to share but right now the wounds are still bleeding...

I cannot put my trust in man alone but in the One who created me. I cannot confide in man alone but in the One who loves me. Only has He been the one to show me the way and I will continue to follow that way. In the test of patience, I find the place to say I am thankful for being taught the fruit of patience. Not only in prayer but in scripture. I can see the test in others and I am rooting for them as I hope they are for me. All tests never end, they just become easier with time. Where to next? Oh, kindness maybe....pregnancy is proving I don't have it like I need it(;

-Sydney, soon-to-be Patient(:

Continuing this road...

As most of you know we are on a journey back to our hometown, Meridian. If you haven't heard, or are curious of the story..please read the previous post!

After having confirmation of our move, we immediately began searching for a place to live. This search has not been easy. Being self-employed has it's downfalls and the fact that our economy is falling apart does not help either. It didn't take long for me to become somewhat discouraged. It didn't take long for my hopes to begin to pick up either! I began to pray Philipians 4:6-7 over and over again. Anytime I felt the tears coming on, I prayed. That hiss would whisper in my ear all the many obstacles I faced. "You won't have a place to live, everyone needs a house" "You're pregnant, where will your baby sleep?"....on and on. Then I prayed. I made my requests known to God, not just that we would have a place to stay, but that I would be encompassed in His peace. I just wanted peace.

My stresses only lasted a day. God immediately answered my prayers. Through thanksgiving, I asked and received. And thanksgiving I return! I have peace. No, we still don't have a house to stay in until we can buy what we want. BUT, I have peace!!

God is faithful! He remains the same. He gave us a word and on a word we stand. Life is full of obstacles and He's given us the strength to surpass them all! I am excited to continue this journey and come into all that God has for my family. We will never understand why He does what He does, but I am thankful that He has chosen us to do His will where He needs us.

Thank you to those who have taken us up in prayer. There's nothing like friends who love...

He is Faithful!

This journey we are on....

You know those people who say, "I can't wait to get out of this town!"....well, I have never been one of those people. I was born in Meridian, Ms. I grew up in Meridian, and I love Meridian!


Caleb was on Chosen from the beginning of 2006 until the end of 2007. So, two years...

He took a "break" ( I guess you could say ) from the team to prepare for marriage and take care of financial matters. We got married May 3 of 2008. That October I was 4 months pregnant and the thought of Hamilton began to imbed itself in our minds. The Lord started a stirring in Caleb's heart to return. For me it was only a thought. I said, "Maybe one day".



At seven months pregnant, Caleb began to feel this stirring even more strongly and really began to seek the Lord about it in prayer. The thought of moving away from my family with a newborn did not settle well with me. I needed a definite word from God.



Caleb went to work at 8 every morning and I was usually still asleep. This particular morning in my half asleep/awake stage I clearly heard Caleb say, "Pack your bags...you're moving to Hamilton". When I completely woke up, I jumped up and ran in every room in our small home trying to find Caleb. He was no where to be found. I called him at work and asked him did he tell me that and he said no. The strange thing was He finally clearly heard the Lord tell him the SAME thing!! That morning!! Immediately I had peace in my heart. I was ready to move to Hamilton on the word of God.



When Eden was only 3 months old...we moved to Hamilton. It was a hard transition. But we were willing vessels saying YES to the will of God. We knew when we moved that this would only be for a season of our lives. This would not be permanent for us. We expected it would be 5-10 years....at the least! Many times we've tried to make our lives here permanent. We have planted business. Attempted to buy a home. Make deep connections with others, etc. Nothing seemed to work though. Our business just got us by. Our loan wouldn't go through. And the deep connections were far and few between, although there are those we consider friends who stick closer than a brother! I believe God didn't allow the permanent fixes to stick because He knew it wouldn't be long until He called us home.



Six to seven months ago the Lord began to stir in my heart dreams of Meridian. I literally smelled Meridian. I thought about it constantly and missed it a lot. So...I started rebuking a "familiar spirit"! Haha! I told it Hamilton is the place God called us to and I started breaking any ties with Meridian that I might have forgotten about. But this stirring just didn't go away. So, I began praying into it HARD! Dreams I used to have for Meridian (that I had pushed back) started to come forth. I started desiring to do these things. God has hope for Meridian! One day, I said to Caleb, "I miss Meridian"....and he responded with the same statement. I asked him had he been feeling the same things I was and He said yes. Together we began to pray into this.



God has a perfect will for our lives. He knows the right and wrong move and we know that anything we do without His word is in vain. We know that we could move home and it not be the word of God for us and fail. When I say we prayed...we PRAYED!



After Christmas I felt the stirring even stronger! I knew the Lord was saying it was time. We've only lived in Hamilton 1 year and 7 months. Why would He call us to a place for this period of time? "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens" -Ecc 3:1



That is the only answer I got.



Again we say yes Lord to all you have for us. We are willing vessels! We so want to fulfil His call for our lives!!



Our first move, before telling ANYONE, was to go to Mrs. Karen...our spiritual authority. I advise everyone to have spiritual authority in your life! The right order of this was to get with her and tell her everything I felt the Lord was sharing with me and Caleb. She confirmed everything we had been hearing and blessed us on the word of the Lord. What a relief! Having that confirmation is glorious. There were times that I thought I was crazy and just simply missing home.



I am thankful with all of my heart that God brought us here. Although we never had a platform to speak on, or a mic in our hands...we learned so many valuable things that are ETERNAL! We grew as husband and wife, as parents and as a son and daughter of God. We have spent more of our married life in Hamilton than any other place. Our first daughter has spent most of her life (so far) in Hamilton. We have great friends here in Hamilton. This will be a hard transition but beautiful all in the same. I believe God brought us to Hamilton to attain something we can take back to Meridian, that Meridian does not have! Awakening!



I look forward to more tent revivals in the Ben Arthur Davis park. I look forward to lives being totally and radically changed for the glory of the Lord. I look forward to a new journey in our hearts. Our hearts will always be a part of The Ramp and Hamilton. We will stay connected and continue being a part. God has huge plans and I am excited and thankful that He is using us. I am thankful that He is faithful in everything.



To all our Ramp community family: We love you all very much! We will always keep each and every one of you in our prayers. We're not falling off the face of the earth....I promise! Every conference weekend and Sunday night service we can make, we WILL be back! We thank each and everyone of you who have been a part of our lives. Thank you for loving us back.



K, I have to stop now before the tears start flowing.