Life has been like one of those free falls that catch you and bring you back up at the end. I contribute a lot of the frustration to pregnancy. Things are so magnified/intensified when you are pregnant. I've asked God to teach me how to deal with hormones. We're still working on it.
Man, pregnancy! God has taken this time to do some serious purging in my heart. Starting with patience. I have never been the most patient person in the world. Oh, he's cracking the egg pretty good.
"We prove ourselves by our purity, our understanding, our patience, our kindness, by the holy spirit within us, and by our sincere love." 2 Corinthians 6:6 NLT
I am just waiting on purity, understanding, kindness...etc. Not saying I don't already possess the ability, but surely as I say I have mastered those he'll hit me with another test. Not that I don't want that either...I'm just sayin'!
I have always been told, "Don't ask for patience." Which I find somewhat ridiculous. We want to hold the light of patience. Ahem, we prove ourselves by...patience. Although it can be very annoying and frustrating at times I know that once I finally pass the test of patience, I've conquered a treasure. I want to produce good fruit. I don't want to be cut from the tree!
Patience is also necessary to endure the road of discipleship...I have found this one to be true from experience. Who better to learn how to be patient than from the one who's displayed it so beautifully for all of time?!
Lately, more than ever, I have REALLY been learning that I cannot look to man but to God for all I need. One day when the scars have turned white I hope to share but right now the wounds are still bleeding...
I cannot put my trust in man alone but in the One who created me. I cannot confide in man alone but in the One who loves me. Only has He been the one to show me the way and I will continue to follow that way. In the test of patience, I find the place to say I am thankful for being taught the fruit of patience. Not only in prayer but in scripture. I can see the test in others and I am rooting for them as I hope they are for me. All tests never end, they just become easier with time. Where to next? Oh, kindness maybe....pregnancy is proving I don't have it like I need it(;
-Sydney, soon-to-be Patient(:
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