This past "Ramp Weekend" was amazing! It was our first ramp with only Mrs. Karen and Chosen...and most importantly God. He was awesome! The first night...somehow the only room that lost power was the "sanctuary" room. And honestly it was louder than if there was power. I can't explain in words the power that I felt in that room when there was NO power!
A few weeks back I had one of the most amazing encounter's with Jesus that I have ever had in my whole life of knowing Him. All I could hear him say was, "This is me. This is me." "You don't have to imagine. This is me." Oh my! I could literally..physically feel the presence of Jesus, like I never have before! Since then...randomly in my home during prayer, I have had encounters that are almost unbelievable! He has taken me sooo deep to a place I've longed to go and keeps taking me deeper! I love being in this intimate place with my Beloved.
Basically I don't know what this blog is even about...I just LOVE Jesus!!! I love his presence! And I want more and more and more! (:
Monday, May 31, 2010
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Your will, not mine.
I love revelation. I love epiphanies. Whatever you'd like to call them..I love them. We have lived in Hamilton, Al for a year now. It's hard to believe but it's true. Before moving to this place that shouldn't belong on a map, we were set. About to buy a home, bought a vehicle, and recently had a beautiful little girl. I've realized that it's not "moving to Hamilton" that turns your life upside down. It's just....Jesus. He's here. And he has a plan...and even though I sometimes..let me rephrase that USUALLY don't know what his plans are; they are always perfect. We moved here and within 3 months, as you could imagine with no jobs, were completely broke. Scrapping for pennies is an understatement. & we had left all friends and family in our hometown. As much as I love the Lord I didn't understand why this was happening to us. I tithe and give offering so it made no sense to me at all! Yet God had a plan!
I always felt like I had faith and trust in God...but I was also always secure financially and emotionally. But moving here that rug was ripped out from under us before we could blink! Every bit of faith or trust I thought I had was no where to be found. Proverbs 12:25 says, "Anxiety in the heart of a man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad." Anxiety for me had sunken in...I am and always have been great with money and to not have any left me anxious and worried. We didn't know where our next paycheck would come from or how we would buy diapers for Eden when we needed them. Holy Spirit in me told me not to worry...but flesh told me it was all I could do. Yet God had a plan!! For several months we fought this storm. Not only this storm but others...But Holy Spirit told me..and still tells me not to worry.
To end this sad story, I'll tell you the end! (: I had a revelation! FINALLY, what took you so long? I'm not sure, timing I assume? And the weird thing is that I knew it all along, I just had not applied it yet. I realized that God is my provider. He gives me food, he gives me clothing and he gives me rest! Everything I need He provides. And he always did. Worrying caused me to be a double minded person. I did not truly trust and have faith in God to provide. All of a sudden Holy Spirit drowned out my flesh. I didn't hear flesh, I only heard Holy Spirit. "You don't have to worry, Sydney, I am your provider! I love you and I'll always take care of you! Abide in me and I will abide in you." I told myself this everyday over and over again. The weight was lifted and my heart was GLAD again!
One month later, after repeating this over to myself. Work came through for us! It's almost like...by TRULY having faith and trust in God...He could not only give me what I 'need' but so much more. The most wonderful gift I recieved from this long, hard and uncomfortable experience was the gift of Faith and Trust. TRUE faith and trust. God's plan was far more than I could have ever hoped that it would be! He is so awesome and I love that He loves me the way He does. I feel that if we had lived in Meridian our whole lives, kept our great jobs, had our dream home and perfect little family...I would not have been refined in such a way! I would not have recieved such a wonderful gift. Refine me like silver and gold, Jesus! Teach me to be all spirit, no flesh!
It's crazy how you never really understand until the storm is over. Then you can look back at everything you went through and go, "OH...I get it." God's got jokes. (:
I always felt like I had faith and trust in God...but I was also always secure financially and emotionally. But moving here that rug was ripped out from under us before we could blink! Every bit of faith or trust I thought I had was no where to be found. Proverbs 12:25 says, "Anxiety in the heart of a man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad." Anxiety for me had sunken in...I am and always have been great with money and to not have any left me anxious and worried. We didn't know where our next paycheck would come from or how we would buy diapers for Eden when we needed them. Holy Spirit in me told me not to worry...but flesh told me it was all I could do. Yet God had a plan!! For several months we fought this storm. Not only this storm but others...But Holy Spirit told me..and still tells me not to worry.
To end this sad story, I'll tell you the end! (: I had a revelation! FINALLY, what took you so long? I'm not sure, timing I assume? And the weird thing is that I knew it all along, I just had not applied it yet. I realized that God is my provider. He gives me food, he gives me clothing and he gives me rest! Everything I need He provides. And he always did. Worrying caused me to be a double minded person. I did not truly trust and have faith in God to provide. All of a sudden Holy Spirit drowned out my flesh. I didn't hear flesh, I only heard Holy Spirit. "You don't have to worry, Sydney, I am your provider! I love you and I'll always take care of you! Abide in me and I will abide in you." I told myself this everyday over and over again. The weight was lifted and my heart was GLAD again!
One month later, after repeating this over to myself. Work came through for us! It's almost like...by TRULY having faith and trust in God...He could not only give me what I 'need' but so much more. The most wonderful gift I recieved from this long, hard and uncomfortable experience was the gift of Faith and Trust. TRUE faith and trust. God's plan was far more than I could have ever hoped that it would be! He is so awesome and I love that He loves me the way He does. I feel that if we had lived in Meridian our whole lives, kept our great jobs, had our dream home and perfect little family...I would not have been refined in such a way! I would not have recieved such a wonderful gift. Refine me like silver and gold, Jesus! Teach me to be all spirit, no flesh!
It's crazy how you never really understand until the storm is over. Then you can look back at everything you went through and go, "OH...I get it." God's got jokes. (:
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